When I think of the times I flipped the bird in traffic, farted to impress friends, peed in flower pots, argued over sports till I had to be restrained, made up highly imaginative streams of bs to impress attractive women, hogged the samples table at Whole Foods, scrambled for parking spaces at Trader Joe’s nearly causing an accident then blaming it on the other guy and refused to share whenever I eat Chinese, I realize one thing . . .
Maybe it’s time to become a mature individual.
But then I stop myself and think what that means . . .
Holding back my anger. Bad for the heart.
Holding back my gas and water. Bad for the intestinal tract.
Holding back my need for public acceptance. Bad for the ego and adversely affecting the body’s autoimmune system.
Holding back on my urges to eat on impulse. Starving the cells of much needed proteins. Giving up my space and handing over my sustenance in the name of sharing, thereby denying my rudimentary survival needs and sending my body into a complete decline.
Face it. It’s all a bunch of responsibilities. And with responsibility comes stress and we all know the effects stress has on the body . . .
It ages you!
Yes, maturity could be the leading cause of aging.
So, what do you say?
Preserve your youth by being a total a–hole? Or become a decent, responsible adult with wrinkles.